What we did on Mother's Day :: a sweet little picnic at Asylum Point
Have you seen this video on parenting yet?
Lately, I have noticed that my life is beginning to show up on my face, this is really apparent when I’m not hydrated and feeling stressed, which coincidently usually corresponds with a lapse in eating excellent food, practicing yoga and sitting for my daily meditation. With this, I find I am less able to handle - anything really. For me, self-care is essential, my whole body (mind and soul) reminds me when I forget to take care of myself. When this happens, I find what helps is making an investment. This time, I’m making an investment into my skin by purchasing this: Banyan Botanicials Beauty Balm with Rose and Geranium - a combination of healing, strengthening, nourishing and revitalizing Shatavari and the stress resisting, sustaining, and revitalizing Ayurvedic super-herb Ashwagandha in a base of nutrient and moisture-rich ghee.
Those small self voices that say those things that make us shudder. Do they plague you, do the bother you at all? So many times I have heard these voices, thoughts, internal dialog met with enmity, indignation, and disgust. I am guilty of this. What happens, do they disappear, go away forever? No, they just get stronger, more psychotic and unreasonable. Louder and more aggressive in return. Yes, there is a different way to deal with the inevitability of the possibility that these voices will become audible at some of the least desired times.
This way is brilliant really and quite simple. Once again I quote Ms. Gilbert.
“Speak to your darkest and most negative interior voices the way a hostage negotiator speaks to a violent psychopath: calmly, but firstly. Most of all, never back down. You cannot afford to back down. The life you a negotiating to save, after all, is your own.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” your darkest interior voices will demand.
“It’s funny you should ask,” you can calmly reply.
I’ll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor alongside me. The fact that I am here at all is evidence that I have the right to be here. I have a right to my own voice and a right to my own vision. I have a right to collaborate with creativity, because I myself am a product and a consequence of Creation. I’m on a mission of (artistic) liberation, so let the girl go.”
See? Now you’re the one doing the talking.”
What a liberating and empowering approach. How bold and how useful.
May we be willing to stand up for ourselves calmly and affably, but as resolved and firm as the one with all the power. May we negotiate with our darkest interior voices with strength and surety despite the fact of vulnerability. May we negotiate with our terrorists.
Side note: I once heard a story about a hostage negotiator, I think it was on NPR or something like that, I’m not sure the source. But, I remember that the speaker spoke very clearly about the need to be vulnerable when negotiating in a hostage situation. Not forceful, not aggressive, actually on the hostage takers side, hearing this person, and connecting to this person; working with this person until this person felt heard. From there, the negotiator had a chance to keep everyone alive.
May you consider this approach the next time the voices of your darkest interior arise volatile, dangerous, and demanding.
You guys, Big Magic, that’s all I can say today. Just, Big Magic. If you have a desire to live creatively, that is to say with wonder and joy and more curiosity than fear. If you have a desire to move out past that which scares you and into the big, bright, beautiful uncharted territory of your life and future. Then, go get this book today.
Here is Elizabeth Gilbert’s website (love the Magic Lessons podcast).
And here is link to get a copy of Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat Pray Love, Committed, and the Signature of All Things.
Recently I’ve (re)started a meditation practice with a renewed sense of purpose. Committing not to “just 5 minutes a day” here and there, but to two twenty minutes (actually 22 minute) sits everyday. This extra time has been all the difference. Where do I find the extra 40 minutes a day?! Well, these essential 40 minutes clear my mind and calm my stress and soothe my ego and lighten my heart and release my soul and creates space so that God can speak directly to my heart. I am less angry on the days that I meditate. I am more productive, and energies, and joyful, and aware. I have more room for curiosity and wonderment because my mind is not consumed with thought and worry, and all those things. My children get more of me, my husband gets my smile and my silliness, the house is cleaner, the meals are more delicious and really there is not one area of my life that is not made better by my practice. Oh, and my yoga practice is stronger and more interesting. But, I don’t get the benefits in just 5 minutes. I need the extra time to settle in and surrender. Sure, yes, in 5, 10 minutes my mind with clear and my stress will dissipate, but if I stop there … I miss the good part.
“Meditation teacher Pema Chodron once said that the biggest problem I see with people’s meditation practice is that they quit just when things are starting to get interesting. Which is to say, they quit as soon as things aren’t easy anymore, as soon as it gets painful, or boing, or agitating. They quit as soon as they see something in their minds that scares them or hurts them. So they miss the good part - the part when you push past the difficulty and enter into saw raw new unexplored universe within yourself.
And maybe it’s like that with every important aspect of your life. Whatever it is you are pursing, whatever it is you are seeking, whatever it is you are creating, be careful not to quick too soon. “Don’t rush through the experiences and circumstances that have the most capacity to transform you.” Don’t let go of your courage the moment things stop being easy and rewarding.
Because that moment? That’s the most when interesting begins.”